


Take Me To Your Best Friend's House

by 3jelly_beanss



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Anxious Ryan Bergara, Banter, Coronavirus, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Idiots in Love, Living Together, M/M, Pining, Quarantine, Quarantined Together, Some angst, The Ghoul Boys (Buzzfeed Unsolved), and there was only one bed, and they were roomates, au where they dont have beautiful amazing girlfriends, comforting shane madej, everything except for their relationships are the same, im just a sucker for their relationship and gay love in general, in this universe at least, shyan, slowburn, they do irl and i respect them and their gfs, they started watcher, they work at buzzfeed, theyre both single
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25658680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3jelly_beanss/pseuds/3jelly_beanss
Summary: " 'Two weeks?' he thought, mind racing. 'Calm down, Shane. What could go wrong? You're just friends. It might even be fun.' "In which, when Covid-19 strikes, Shane and Ryan get quarantined together. For better or for worse, they're stuck together for two weeks.(Title based on Tongue Tied by Grouplove)
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 8
Kudos: 68





	1. Oh, This Weird and Wonderful World

**Author's Note:**

> I have the utmost respect for these men and their girlfriends! I just wanted to explore the possibilities of their relationship. I understand shipping real people is harmful and I hope you don't take offense. This is like if Ryan and Shane were in an alternate reality.

Today was filming day for the newest episode of Weird & Wonderful World, and Ryan was excited. The chilly Los Angeles weather was perfect for the wierd-ass outfit he had in mind. You see, the boys were going to some Breakfast Club, and being, well, eccentric, was almost a core value of the place, according to Shane. Ryan put on his black suit and tie, topping off the look with a silver tie clip and a black cowboy hat. He stood in front of the mirror, feeling chaotic. Ryan flashed the mirror a wide grin complete with finger guns. Time to get to work.

He could barely believe that, today, 'work' would be eating breakfast and meeting new people with his best friend. Man, had he gotten lucky.

-

Ryan arrived at the Los Angeles Breakfast Club right on time and was surprised to see Shane had beaten him there. He saw the giant man even in the group of crew members, of course. He was hard to miss, especially with his outfit for the day. He had blue slacks, a tan corduroy jacket, and a... a fucking sweater vest. Ryan had no idea how he managed to pull such a weird, professor-y outfit off, but he sure did. His brown hair flopped around in the wind. Ryan smiled; it had been getting really long recently, and Shane basically let it do whatever it wanted, and it always managed to look good. And occasionally hilariously messy.

"Hey, big guy!" He called, and Shane turned, his face lighting up.

"Fancy seeing you here... Ready to meet some of the coolest and weirdest people you ever will?" Shane asked as soon as Ryan was by his side. The short man grinned and nodded in reply.

They had a great time. Ryan was a big fan of food, so the buffet part was great. Usually, all of the dancing and singing they did would have embarrassed him a bit, but with everyone else being just as, if not more, enthusiastic and passionate about every single thing they did, it was awesome. Also, Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej had long ago sold their ability to be ashamed to the devil. They left filled with joy, food, and chaotic energy.

"Well, that was pretty fricking cool, man." Ryan commented. They had just finished filming and the crew was packing up all of the equipment. Shane and Ryan joined in, trying to be helpful.

"Right? I mean, weird as fuck, but I think that's the charm of the place." Shane added and Ryan erupted in laughter, eliciting Shane to chuckle. 

"I like the outfit, Professor Madej." Ryan mocked, raising an eyebrow. Shane gasped dramatically and his hand flew to his chest.

"Well, thank you very much, Night Night Bergara." Shane retorted. Ryan pumped his fist.

"Yes! That's exactly what I was going for." He actually hadn't thought of that, but it fit perfectly; He looked like a mob boss. Shane muttered a curse at having accidentally complimented his friend, but the smile stuck on his face made it clear he was joking.

The stuff had been packed up, and the crew people started leaving in their cars. Finally, Ryan and Shane were left, Shane staring nervously at his friend, who was leaning on the hood of his car and gazing off into the distance.

"Hey Ry-"

"Oh sorry. I must've zoned out. That buffet food's still sitting heavy in my stomach." He said and held his stomach like it hurt. It didn't really. "Anyways, did you want to get out of here?"

Somehow Ryan had sensed what Shane was thinking, and the big man heaved a sigh of relief. "Hell yeah, baby. Where do you want to go?"

"Hmm, we could try and burn off all these calories..." Ryan said, a nefarious grin spreading across his face.

"Don't say what I think you're going to say-"

"Wanna go bowling, big guy?"

Shane furrowed his eyebrows, his smile getting bigger by the second. "You little fucker. You know what, I'm going to do it! I'll beat you into the ground, Bergara. Just you wait and see."

Ryan unlocked his car and started to climb in the front seat. He needed some witty comeback. "Tough talk for a fella with a small cock." Fuck. Not one from TikTok.

Shane climbed in too and raised an eyebrow, blurting, "I think you know that's not true." He blanked. How the fuck would Ryan know that? He glanced over and told himself too play it off as a joke.

Ryan wheezed, steadily turning red. He could barely get his joke out as he was busy laughing nervously. "I know I call you big guy, but I've never seen your cock." Shane immediately erupted with laughter.

"Pfft- I- Wha- I-" His laughter drowned out the fact that he didn't know how to respond to that. "Well, where are we bowling today, Bergmeister?" Shane asked as soon as he had recovered. Ryan pulled out of the parking space and started driving towards the road. He glanced innocently out of the corner of his eyes at Shane. As soon as Shane saw the mischievous smirk on his friend's face. "No, not- you can't be serious. I don't think I can go back there after what happened last time."

"I think you can. I think I really see the cultural value of small places like that. I'll always remember it: the place where I obliterated you at bowling."

Shane opened his mouth silently a few times like a frustrated fish out of water. "Okay, I know what you're doing. How dare you try and compliment my tourist skills to distract me from the fact that you're insulting me! You know what, fine. I'll go, but only because of the amazing drinks."

Ryan smiled and drove off into the bright, sunny day. 

-

Bowling was awesome. The boys played two games because after Shane lost the first one; He said it was because Ryan wasn't as drunk as him, and he demanded a rematch. He made Ryan take two shots while he only did one, which Ryan protested to in vain. Eventually, Shane lost, but they both got abysmal scores. Shane could barely stand by the time they were done, his long legs and floppiness catching up with him.

Over the course of the games, Shane had taken off his jacket and sweater vest as they got progressively more drunk. Ryan had not been intending to get drunk. Now he was giggling like a maniac with his tie untied and his suit jacket propped oddly on the top of his head. There had only been a few other people in the bowling alley at the same time as them, all of them now judging the two ridiculous men. All of a sudden, Shane, who was standing next to him and holding himself up with the table, gasped comically. Ryan jumped and let out a nervous chuckle.

"What?" He stage-whispered across the table, climbing clumsily onto his very high chair. 

"We should call Steven." Shane said as if it was genius.

"Why?" Ryan asked, confused.

"I need a ride home." Shane said, burying his face in his arm which was laying on the table and the only thing between him and collapse.

"Ohhhhhh..." Ryan responded and dug his phone out of his pocket. It started ringing. Shane climbed into the chair across from Ryan and sipped the drink in front of him. Fortunately, the ice had melted so it was mostly water. 

"Ryan? What's up?" Steven's voice was grainy but loud in the small bowling alley.

"Big Apple Steeeeve!" Shane yelled into the phone. "Can you pick us up?"

"Oh my god, have you guys been day drinking?! Are you okay? Ryan, are you conscious?"

"We're fineeee," Ryan reassured, his speech slurred and not at all comforting to Steven. "I beat Shane at bowling!"

"Oh Lord, give me strength," The man muttered. "Okay, Ryan make sure Shane doesn't do anything. Shane, make sure Ryan doesn't do anything stupid."

Shane's brow furrowed. "Wha- Why can't I do anything?"

Steven ignored him. "Tell me where you are and I'll be there in a few minutes." They told him the name of the bowling alley, though it took a few minutes as both of them had forgotten it until Ryan noticed the sign behind Shane. Steven hung up after a dramatic sigh directed at the two men. 

The two sat in silence for a bit. Shane gradually lowered his head into his arms which were lying on the table. He turned so Ryan could only see the top of his head, presumably sleeping. Ryan was obsessed with the messy, tangled swirls of hair on Shane's head. His hand reached out almost without his permission. He realized he probably shouldn't have, but he started playing with Shane's hair. It was softer than he would have expected, and it had some product in it, as it easily turned in weird directions and stayed there. 

Shane lifted his head slightly, resting his chin on his arms and making a slight 'hmm?' noise. Ryan didn't look down from where he was running his fingers through the big man's hair, but he could tell Shane's eyes were on him.

"Your hair is messy." He said, a lame excuse. 

"Yep," Shane said simply. Ryan finally looked down to see Shane had closed his eyes and was leaning into the shorter man's touch. He looked almost like a happy cat, the same sleepy joy in his small smile. Ryan was entranced. He didn't remove his hand from Shane's hair, flipping it every which way and untangling the many knots. Shane hummed happily. Ryan was broken from his trance by the feeling of eyes on him. People were looking at him and Shane, nothing particularly hostile about their gazes. Yet Ryan quickly retracted his hand from his friend's hair, feeling... funny. His cheeks were pink. That was his friend across from him, he reminded himself. That was just his friend, with that dopey, puzzled look on his face. Ryan rubbed his hands, now getting sweaty, on his black slacks. 

"Ryan!" Shane stage-whispered. "I have an idea..." He had a wicked smile on his face, making Ryan a bit concerned. He giggled, though.

"What?"

"Let's watch a movie! At my place. Movies are great, Ryan." Shane said, a hilarious amount of seriousness in his voice and face. Ryan burst out laughing but managed to nod and confirm Shane's suggestion.

"I thought you were gonna suggest something crazy!" Ryan said, still laughing.

"No!" Shane retorted. "Nothing crazy, just movies. Should I suggest something crazy?"

Ryan genuinely thought about it before firmly saying, "No."

-

"Oh my... You guys! How much did you have to drink?" Steven exclaimed. Shane and Ryan were slumped over the table because they had decided to take a nap until Steven arrived to pick them up.

"Mr. Big Apple, our hero," Shane murmured lazily.

"Thanks, Stevie boy." Ryan said, and both of the drunk men erupted with giggles. Steven pulled at their sleeves and managed to get them both on their feet, Ryan leaning on Steven and Shane wrapping his arm around and supporting himself with Ryan. Steven wore a very unamused expression. As they made their way to the door, Ryan tried to hand him some keys and Steven cursed.

"Shit, your car is here? How am I supposed to..." Steven sighed and pushed the door to the bright outside, a sunny Los Angeles afternoon, though it was chilly. Steven knew what he had to do, unlocking Ryan's car and shoving the two staggering men in the backseat, climbing in the front. He'd have to take an Uber back to his car to go home, but it was worth it to him to make sure his friends got home safe.

"Buckle up, dipshits." Steven told Shane and Ryan as he reversed out of the parking spot. "Where are we going, again?"

-

Steven pulled into a parking spot at Shane's apartment complex. Steven had to help Shane, who was top-heavy and stumbling, carry Ryan, who had gotten super car sick and was drunk, up the stairs. Eventually, the man with bright blue hair was able to leave, Shane and Ryan safely escorted into the apartment. He sighed and made his way back down the stairs, calling an Uber on his phone.

Meanwhile, in Shane's apartment, he and his shorter friend argued relentlessly, as they did often.

"Die Hard," Ryan said.

"Too much action!" Shane said, waving the suggestion off with his hand. "Also, that's a Christmas movie."

Ryan dug through his friend's cabinets, searching for popcorn, their shared affinity. "It's Feb-oo-yary, Shane. Close to Christmas."

The giant man wheezed at Ryan's response. "What did you just say? Feburary, you mean?" Ryan ignored him, so Shane presented another suggestion. "The Conjuring."

"Whoa, why do you always go horror? Also, you're a dumb skeptic, I thought."

"That doesn't mean I can't enjoy a movie, Boogara. Uhm... Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

"I don't like that one... It's sad!" Shane started laughing again, incredulously, and Ryan interrupted with another movie. "The Shining."

"I thought no horror?"

"Meh, it doesn't scare me."

"I have a better idea. Have you seen Midsomar?" Ryan shook his head, and they decided to watch it. But only because Shane told Ryan the genre was Drama, not Horror.

Warm popcorn in his lap and his friend by his side, Shane started the movie.

"Holy shit, this is like really sad..." Ryan commented first. Then, "Oh wow, that's fucking rude." The he was dying with laughter. "I- I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh but, who the fuck cries like that?" Later, he emitted a high-pitched screech and shoved his face into Shane's shirt. Shane had to tear his eyes from the bloody scene, feeling a bit queasy.

Ryan was muttering hysterically. "What the fuck, what the fuck, what the actual fuck, Shane."

Shane turned the TV off. "Uh, wow." He looked down to see Ryan was still pressed into his side, face buried in his chest. It sent a warm feeling through him he attributed to all of the alcohol he had earlier. "Ry?"

Ryan was shaking a bit. He punched Shane lightly in the ribs and the big man got some of the air knocked out of him. "Shane, you fucker. That was a horror movie, wasn't it? Have you seen it before?"

"No! I knew it was horror, but I didn't know it was that..." He swallowed. He placed a tentative hand on Ryan's back. "Oops."

"Jesus, Shane! You're stupid." Ryan was shaking more now, but he was chuckling, so Shane let his hand fall back to his side and let himself laugh with his friend.

"That movie was fucking bizarre, though, right? Like that one weird tapestry thing? I think it was just going to get weirder honestly." 

"Yeah, weird. That last thing was..." Ryan trailed off, not wanting to think about it. "Weird. We only got like thirty minutes in... Ugh, let's watch something fun now."

Shane obliged, searching through Netflix. Ryan moved further away from Shane, but their shoulders were still pressed together, his hand lying on the couch by Shane's leg. It was weird, but Shane felt like he could feel its heat, despite it being a couple of inches away. He ignored the feeling and found something.

"Oh, man, have you seen Scott Pilgrim?" He said enthusiastically.

"Of course! I read it a little bit when I was younger." Ryan wheezed. "I make it sound like I'm sixty or something."

Shane laughed with him and clicked play.

It was really a great movie, filled with ridiculous and entirely unbelievable scenes. The characters were over-the-top caricatures and the action scenes were funny and dramatic and thrilling. Ryan could feel his limbs and eyelids steadily getting heavier. Shane looked tired too, stifling yawns by the middle of the film. Ryan found himself staring at his friend's side profile, the sharp, pink nose, the stubble and his ridiculous moustache, the drooping eyelids, the slight smile at the corner of his mouth. Shane turned to him suddenly, and Ryan turned back to the movie, Ramona Flowers's face taking up the screen. Ryan didn't say anything, but he could tell Shane's gaze lingered on his face. Puzzled, the tall man continued watching the movie.

Ryan was really getting tired. It felt like his whole body was getting heavier and his brain fuzzier. The alcohol was really getting to him. Without thinking, he scooched a couple inches and settled into Shane's side. The tall man turned to him as the shorter one finally let his tired head lay on his shoulder. Shane's mouth opened to say something, but it closed, a fond smile replacing the surprise previously on his face. He could feel Ryan's shoulder digging into his ribs a bit, but he couldn't have cared a bit. The man was so warm, Shane noticed. He decided to settle a long arm on the little man's shoulders, holding him gently to his side. He turned back to the movie, smiling.

-

The morning came, unfortunately for the two men. Ryan was squished uncomfortably into the couch cushions, something pressing onto him from the side and above. He was awfully cramped, joints stiff, and he could feel a killer headache forming. He opened tired eyes to see a mop of brown hair tickling his chin. He furrowed his brow. Shane was laying half on top of him, the big man almost falling off the couch. One of his big hands was lying next to Ryan's face and the other twitched by the smaller man's waist.

"Shane?" Ryan croaked out. His voice was gravelly, as it usually was in the morning. Shane emitted a low groan and turned his head, eyes still closed. Ryan chuckled, but he realized he really had to pee. He ruffled Shane's hair and flicked his forehead. Shane flinched, and his hand tightened around Ryan's waist. Ryan squeaked. It tickled.

"Oh, Ryan," Shane mumbled, brown eyes half-open. Ryan watched as they snapped open with some sort of realization. Shane yelped and started moving rapidly, knee banging into Ryan's shin. The little man cried out and rolled over. Shane rolled over and fell with a loud thump onto the floor. Ryan shot up and reached for the big man, who lay on the floor, groaning weakly.

"Oh, shit! Are you okay? Shane? I'm sorry!"

"I regret..." Shane grumbled, rolling over onto his back, "Everything..."

Ryan flopped back onto the couch with a laugh. He winced at the sharp pain in his head. "Yeah, me too, big guy."

Their day started with coffees and pain killers, taken squinting against the light of Shane's apartment an holding aching heads. They each took showers, one after the other.

Shane was sitting on the couch scrolling through Instagram when he heard the shower turn off. Ryan was done.

"Uh, Shane?" The big man swiveled his bowling ball of a head to see Ryan, leaning shirtless out of the doorway. Shane's eyes widened. He quickly feigned indifference and asked what Ryan needed. "Could I borrow some clothes? Sorry, my suit from Weird Wonderful is all, you know, uncomfy. Also, it kinda smells like sweat and popcorn."

Shane chuckled and stammered a bit. "Y-Yeah, of course." He led the small man, wrapped in a towel that Shane couldn't help but think was a bit small, to his room and opened the drawers to let him pick out some things. The big guy closed the door and settled back down on the couch. He scrolled through the comment section on the Wierd Wonderful World episode they had just posted, one about him and Ryan visiting that mystical museum. That had been fun, though he hadn't believed in any of it. Ryan had allowed him to buy one butterfly encased in glass at the end, teasing him about his wierd fascination with them. Shane chuckled at a particularly interesting comment and absentmindedly liked it.

"They give off such strong "old married couple" vibes" It read. Shane cursed, realizing he was logged into the official Watcher account. He quickly clicked it again, undoing the like with a relieved sigh. Would the person know he had undone it? Probably not, right? His worrying was interrupted by a voice behind him. 

"You better shut up about this outfit, alright? I'm aware I look fucking stupid." Shane turned at the man's voice and the air was knocked out of his lungs. Ryan was wearing a pair of his chinos, blue ones that were obviously rolled a few more times than normal and bunched up oddly around his knees and ankles because of how big they were. Shane's huge Columbia College hoodie was draped over Ryan's small frame. The man's fingers stuck out of the big sleeves and the hoodie hung to almost his mid-thigh. Ryan was staring at Shane expectantly, raising his eyebrow. Shane's mouth hung open. He chuckled and Ryan glared at him. Shane wasn't meeting his eyes. He still couldn't say anything, so he turned back around.

He choked out a weak, "Looks fine."

"I can hear you laughing at me up in that big head of yours." Ryan said bitterly. "It's not my fault you're so freakishly big."

"It's not my fault I buy clothes that fit me," Shane retorted, recovering from his shock. "Sorry I don't keep a drawer for you at my house."

"Yeah, you really should, Shane." Ryan said with a laugh, and Shane knew he was joking. Of course he was joking. So then why was he reeling at the stupid comment. He shrugged it off and shuffled to the kitchen. Ryan came in behind him and grabbed orange juice from the fridge. "So, what's for breakfast, big guy?"

Shane decided he would make Ryan breakfast. He was good at cooking, and he enjoyed it, and it was a good distraction from his thoughts. Ryan might guess something was up, and he'd have to pull a stupid reason out of his ass. To be honest, he didn't know why he was so shaken up. He couldn't think of anything it could be. He stirred scrambled eggs and let it slip from his mind.

Ryan got a phone call. Shane stirred the eggs, humming slightly. He added tomatoes, and bubbling liquid appeared at the bottom of the pan. He listened absentmindedly in on Ryan's phone call.

"Mm-hmm. Yep." Ryan took a sip of orange juice. He then spit it all over the counter, eyes wide. Shane jumped and almost flung eggs onto the ground. Ryan was coughing on orange juice he had almost choked on and Shane turned off the burner and made his way over to his friend. Worry furrowed his brow. Ryan asked raspily, "Are you sure?" Shane couldn't hear the response, but Ryan groaned, so it must have been bad. Ryan was silent for a while, frozen on a seat by the counter, hand in his curly, black hair. "Bye," he said weakly and let the phone fall from his ear, looking shaken. Shane put a tentative hand on the small man's shoulder, trying to make Ryan meet his eyes. What the hell was going on?

"Uhm," Ryan cleared his throat, "I have some bad news, big guy."


	2. Only Fools Rush In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> get ready for some slight angst.. they do be sad and anxious tho..

'Two weeks?' Shane thought, mind racing. 'Calm down, Shane. What could go wrong? You're just friends. It might even be fun.' The tall man sat on his bed, head in his hands, heart and mind racing at almost the same speed, which was way too fast. Ryan stood on the threshold biting his lip and seeming like he was asking permission to come in. Shane barely noticed him.

He had learned just minutes ago that someone infected with Covid-19, aka the coronavirus, had been at the Los Angeles Breakfast Club. He had heard of it a bit before, but he'd only heard of like one case in the United States. He and Ryan were to be quarantined in Shane's apartment for two weeks, no contact with the outside world, waiting for the symptoms to possibly show up. He had shaken the hand of almost every person at the breakfast club, he thought with horror. 

Ryan sat down next to him and placed a hand on Shane's, dragging it away from his face.

"Your hands are clammy," Shane muttered. Ryan let the man's big hand go, and their hands both fell to their respective laps.

"Shane, are you okay?" Ryan asked, worry clear in his face. Shane looked up at him and felt so incredibly guilty.

"No, Ry, but I'm the one in my own apartment with my own clothes. You're... can you go home?"

Ryan shook his head and glared into his lap. "My brother's my roommate. I couldn't risk infecting him now. I'll be fine, though. I can ask him to bring some stuff for me over and..." He trailed off and took a shaky breath. 

"Oh, shit." Shane said. "I gotta call my mom." Ryan gasped, and they both dove for their phones. Shane called his family members from his bed, Ryan from the couch. By the end, they had explained the situation more times than they wanted to. Ryan could feel his heart racing and his hands getting shaky. Shane felt a deep, aching weariness seep into his bones as he sat in his bed. His mom, dad, and brother had all received the news fairly well. Or they were acting to make him feel better. It felt like an act to him, and their attempts to be cheery and hopeful made him feel even worse. Ryan's parents were the opposite, his mom almost bursting into tears, his dad asking a million questions. His brother was calmer, and he'd have his stuff later today. Still, Ryan's family's reactions only heightened his anxiety. He shuffled into Shane's room, breathing shakily.

Shane didn't open his eyes. He lay on his back, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes. Starbursts of color erupted in the grey behind his eyelids. Ryan sniffed and crawled into the bed next to him. Shane threw his hands down by his sides and looked at Ryan. The man was curled inwards, knees by his chin. A tear streaked down his tanned cheek and soaked into the knee of Shane's pants. His breathing was shaky and so were his hands, playing with the cuffs of the blue pants he wore. 

"Ryan...?" Shane whispered. Ryan sniffed loudly and wiped at the single tear on his cheek. He didn't meet the tall man's eyes as he sat up. Shane moved closer and extended an arm, though nervous to touch Ryan. Fuck. How does one comfort people? He had never been good at it... 

Thankfully, Ryan saw the hand by his shoulder and took as an invitation. He crawled into Shane's arms and pressed his wet eyes into the big man's shirt. Shane rubbed his shaking shoulders, entirely bewildered. He had seen Ryan nervous, but never to this point. He could hear the small man mumbling into his chest. He pulled back and brushed hot tears from Ryan's cheeks.

"What?"

"I- I- What if..." Ryan took a shaky breath, looking at his small hands that lay in his lap. "What if we have it, Shane?"

His voice was so weak and scared, Shane could barely handle it. He pulled his friend back into his arms and ran a hand through Ryan's hair. He pressed his face momentarily into the top of Ryan's head. He smelled like Shane's Old Spice. It almost put a smile on his face. "Ryan. Ryan." He whispered into Ryan's hair. "You're strong. I'm strong. I believe you could beat it, little guy. You believe in me, right?" Ryan nodded and Shane pulled back to look him in the face. He had stopped crying, though still shaky. His eyes were swollen and red, but he bit his lip and mustered a small smile.

"I'm not small," He mumbled, voice wavering. Shane laughed, and Ryan joined in. They sat together for a few more moments, Ryan calming down slowly. Shane told a few stupid jokes to try and knock him out of his spiraling thoughts. It worked surprisingly well. Ryan sat silently, his face inches from his best friend's, his hands on his lap with Shane's giant, warm ones laying on top of them. It spread a warmth and comfort through Ryan's entire body. Shane couldn't focus on the shitty situation they were both in with his friend's long, wet eyelashes fluttering over reddened eyes the color of dark chocolate. He was entranced. His fingers were tracing small circles into the back of Ryan's hand, almost involuntarily. They were just meant to do that. They were meant to be like this. Shane took a shaky breath in and removed his hands.

What was he thinking? They were meant to be? What stupid, yearn-y bullcrap. Sure, he was pansexual, but that didn't mean he was attracted to his best friend of almost five years. Attracted to Ryan? The man was hot, assuredly, and his biceps were blush-worthy, and his huge grins made Shane's insides flutter, but that didn't mean Shane liked him. No. He realized he had been caught up in his thoughts and Ryan was staring at him.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked softly, and Shane nodded eagerly, perhaps too eagerly, almost interrupting Ryan. The short man narrowed his eyes. "Hey, you're allowed to have emotions, man. I don't have to have twice as many to make up for you, you know." Ryan laughed lightly and Shane smiled.

"I mean, this is just super overwhelming, you know, but we'll be okay. I mean-" He stopped suddenly, eyes widening. "Steven. Watcher. Work!" He stuttered, and Ryan's face fell.

-

"Big Apple Steve!" Shane cried as Steven's round face with pale, pinkish hair popped up in the Zoom call. There were also a bunch of crew members from the Weird Wonderful World shoot as well as basically everyone that worked at Watcher. Shane was trying to be optimistic, but failing, the worry clear on his and Ryan's faces. They were sharing Shane's desk chair, and Ryan felt like he was about to fall off. He swayed with a little yelp, and Shane's arm snaked around his back, clutching his side. Thank God the cameras couldn't see it. Ryan was flushing pink, but he soon forgot about the hand on his side, distracted by his concerns for Shane and himself.

Ryan gasped. "Steven! We- You- I'm sorr-"

The light-haired man interrupted him, "It's okay, Ryan. We got the call too, or at least the crew all did. Then they all called me and I realized, um, I interacted with you guys. It's fine though! We're all quarantined now." 

"Oh, Steven, I'm sorry, man." Shane said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"It's okay, guys! The crew is all in quarantine, I'm in quarantine too, and it's only two weeks. Weak sauce, am I right?" Steven gave them both a small goofy smile. It comforted them both. Steven was always the serious one, the business man, and he wasn't freaking out too much, so it must mean everything was alright. "I'll be praying for y'all, okay? Like everyone."

Ryan smiled weakly. "Thanks, man." Shane nodded next to him. The big man might not have believed in religion, but he was happy for Steven's caring. Also, what did he know, maybe it would work.

The group discussed the weeks to come. They would have to film Watcher Weekly over Zoom, but that would be easy. They would have to cease filming for all of their shows, unfortunately. Also, it seemed like even after the two weeks were up, they might not be able to go back to normal. Covid-19 was spreading rapidly, and states were starting to close down. Ryan was filled with anxious thoughts. When the hell was this going to end?

The Zoom call ended and Ryan slid off of the chair, falling to the ground with a thump. He looked thoroughly deflated and exhausted, eyes drooping. Shane stood up and bent over Ryan, long brown hair hanging in the tan man's face. It looked like the Spiderman upside down kiss, Ryan thought with a chuckle. 

"What?" Shane asked, tilting his upside down head. Ryan laughed more. Shane looked fucking ridiculous. "You look-" He cut himself off with a wheeze and doubled over with laughter. He then felt big, warm hands curling around his own. Shane was trying to pull him to his feet. Ryan realized this and decided with a mischievous grin that he was not going to allow that. He dug his heels into the ground and pulled back on the tall man's hands. Shane stammered, confused, and pulled ferociously back. All of a sudden, Ryan gave up and flew up to his feet, almost colliding with Shane. Shane yelped as the shorter man swung up to his face, their noses ending inches apart. Their hands sat at their sides, intertwined. The two men were breathing raggedly despite the little amount of exertion. 

Ryan was the first to pull away. He noticed he was looking exclusively at Shane's pink lips and the stubble on his jaw, though that was at his eye-level. He looked up to see Shane was looking at him. The big man had definitely noticed, he'd been staring for almost thirty seconds. So, Ryan dropped the other man's hands and shuffled back as if Shane could burn him. The big guy was looking at the ground. Ryan chuckled awkwardly.

"So," The shorter man broke the silence. "What's for lunch?"

-

Shane was surprised it was already lunchtime. It felt like the day had passed in a blur, a true emotional roller-coaster. He and Ryan had argued over what to eat for a few minutes before settling on a nearby sandwich place that delivered. They ordered over the phone and Shane bustled around his kitchen, stirring a jug of lemonade he'd made from powder. Ryan had found it in his pantry and gasped dramatically, demanding Shane make it.

The short, tan man now sat at the same counter as the night before, chin in his hand. He watched Shane's skinny arms stir the lemonade with vigor. The big man took the spoon out and licked it. Ryan laughed at the funny, puckered-up face he made. Then, Shane stuck the spoon back in and stirred it a bit more.

"Shane! Fucking nasty!" Ryan cried, incredulous.

"Hmm?" Shane asked, the spoon back in his mouth. And then back in the jug.

"The spoon, man!" He added, "Oh that is SO unsanitary."

"Wha- We've shared drinks before. Hell, we've shared almost anything a person can eat." Shane retorted, licking the spoon once more before tossing it in the sink.

"Still-" Ryan started, only to be interrupted by the doorbell. Shane's eyes widened and he scrambled to get his wallet out of his pocket. He tied a bandanna around his face and dropped the wallet in the process. A bunch of change fell out. The two men whispered unintelligible things furiously to each other as they hurried to pick it up.

"On second!" Shane cried shrilly. They managed to get all of the coins and Shane motioned for Ryan to go away, so he rushed to sit on the couch, away form the door.

"Hello!" Shane grinned at the gangly teenager at his door. The teenager could not see this as Shane had a bandanna over his nose and mouth. The kid looked at it quizzically but didn't ask. Shane paid and collected the sandwiches swiftly though awkwardly. 

Ryan burst into a laughing fit as soon as Shane closed the door. Shane glared at him, feigning hurt, and set the sandwiches on the counter. Ryan was still wheezing when he started making fun of his friend. "Enjoy your food! 'You too! I definitely haven't smoked weed today!' Oh my God, Shane, you look ridiculous."

"I- I'm just trying to keep that poor kid safe, man! Come on and eat."

"Seriously, you look like you took some acid and decided to rob a bank!" Ryan wheezed and Shane laughed reluctantly, slipping the bandanna down to hang around his neck.

"Shut up and eat, little guy."

-

The two men didn't really know what to do after lunch. Ryan decided on some editing for Watcher, and he and Shane sat on Shane's old couch with its grandma-like floral pattern. Shane was reading some sort of history book, something about how each of the elements of the Periodic Table were discovered. Every once in a while he would exhale out of his nose at the stupid science jokes and stories. Ryan just tapped away on his computer keyboard, content with the silence and closeness. Well, they weren't super close. Ryan wished he could move closer, maybe just so their knees touched. He looked at Shane's knee to see one of his bony hands lying there.

The small man was now thoroughly absorbed in his thoughts. It was entirely, perfectly normal to want to be closer to your best friend, right? Yeah, totally. It was super platonic to want to run your hands through your friend's hair and hold their hand. At least, that's what Ryan was telling himself.

"Uh, Ry, are you staring at my dick?" Shane asked, eyebrow cocked. Ryan's eyes snapped open and up to meet Shane's.

"What? No-"

"You want me to prove my dick is huge, amirite? You didn't believe me yesterday?" Shane had a coy smirk on his face.

"No, no! I was looking at your hand!" Ryan blurted, and then realized that was just as embarrassing.

"Oh, okay." Shane said, turning back to his book. "You have a hand kink."

Ryan was so close to smacking the stupid, smug look off of Shane's face. Yeah, maybe he thought Shane's hands were hot, but that meant nothing. "Shut up, Shane." He said, whacking Shane in the arm playfully, returning to his editing. Ryan let his hand fall onto Shane's knee, and he let it lay there, cheeks flushed and heart racing. Shane's knee twitched. Ryan looked up to see he had a weird look on his face as he read. Oh God, he'd messed up. He picked up his hand and was going to lay it on his lap when Shane wordlessly grabbed his wrist. The big man set Ryan's hand gently back down on his knee. A giant smile spread across Ryan's face, though he tried to hide it by coughing.

-

The rest of the day passed without incident. The ghoul boys did some work, read, watched TV together, and did various other boring, time-filling activities. Neither of them wanted to think or talk about their situation, so they distracted themselves and avoided the topic. However, as the sun set, glowing orange rays shining through Shane's window, there was a very important topic one of them needed to bring up. 

Ryan was the one to do it, though both of them had been thinking about it for a while. "So," he started, fiddling with the hoodie of Shane's he was wearing. "I don't really want to wake up together on this couch tomorrow morning..." He trailed off.

Shane raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep like that last night, you know, I guess it just... happened?" The big man had a weird expression on his face that Ryan couldn't decipher. 

"It's fine, man." He said, hoping it would comfort Shane. "But if we sleep like that again, I'm gonna start developing arthritis."

Shane chuckled. "Well, I don't have a guest room, unfortunately, and you seem to dislike the couch... any ideas?" Shane had an idea. It was a very vivid idea that he didn't really want to think about in this moment. His drifting thoughts were reeled back in by Ryan's response.

"Your bed is pretty big, you know." Ryan said innocently, staring at the floor. Shane's eyes were wide but he tried to keep any emotions off of his face. "We've shared many a hotel room, big guy. You aren't gonna get shy on me now, right?" Ryan teased, elbowing the tall man in the ribs. Shane laughed nervously.

"Yeah, we can share the bed. I mean, she's a queen, so... pretty good, am I right?" They laughed together, casually, though Shane's anxiety about the night was growing with each passing second. 

-

The two men may have been in their thirties, but they were not old. They didn't go to bed when the sun set like someone's grandparents, so Shane suggested they watch something. He told Ryan he couldn't think of anything and immediately regretted it upon seeing the evil grin on the shorter man's face. This may have resulted in Shane chasing Ryan around the apartment for a few minutes. He got tired quickly and caved to whatever Ryan wanted to watch.

They ended up watching old episodes of Buzzfeed Unsolved. Shane laughed often at his own jokes and at Ryan's fear of the supernatural. Ryan preferred to get into arguments with his friend about the evidence from the episode, which Shane always shrugged off, infuriating the shorter man. By the time they were tired they had laughed, cried (from laughing too hard), and screamed (during the debating about ghosts).

Shane had fun. He felt a distinct disappointment that he hadn't gotten to wrap his arm around Ryan like last night, but he also knew they didn't have any excuse of being drunk as shit. He yawned wide as they watched the episode about the Bellaire House. Hmm, he'd kind of liked that place. He remembered the awkward seance he and Ryan had tried fondly. He had always found Ryan's silence afterwards and the way he wouldn't meet Shane's eyes odd. 

Ryan sat on the couch next to Shane, eyes drooping. Ah, the Bellaire House. That place was fun but freaky. He opened his eyes again to see that a few whole minutes had passed. He couldn't be bothered to worry about it. 

Shane looked over to see Ryan's head slipping down the couch, eyes closed. He was half-asleep, Shane realized with a laugh.

"Ry?" He whispered, hand on the small man's shoulder. "Boo."

Ryan opened his eyes slowly and sat up, moving out of Shane's reach. "Oh, sorry."

Shane watched as the little guy tried to stile a yawn with the sleeve of Shane's hoodie. He smiled. "I think it might be time for bed." He stood up and was amused to see Ryan sitting on the couch, arms outstretched needily. Shane met Ryan's tired eyes and decided to take his small hands and pull him off the couch. Ryan let himself be led to the bedroom, hand in Shane's still. 

Shane pulled back the covers and watched as Ryan climbed into bed. He made his way to his dresser and pulled out some pajama pants to change into. He turned around to see Ryan flinging his blue chinos out from under the covers. Oh, he thought, face turning a bit pink. Shane changed, came back, and settled into his usual sleeping position on his side. Ryan was almost curled into a ball, and already snoring lightly. Shane found it harder to go to sleep. Sure, he had been worried about being close to his best friend, but now he regretted all of the distance between them. He fell asleep, thinking of all of the times they had slept in each other's company, in various dusty, dank places, in shitty hotels, in thin sleeping bags huddling together for comfort and warmth. 

-

Shane awoke warm and happy. He must've been cuddling his pillow again, his sleep-addled brain thought as he woke up. He opened bleary eyes to see the warm, soft thing in his arms was none other than Ryan Steven Bergara. The small man was huddled close to Shane's chest, breathing softly onto Shane's neck. Their legs were intertwined so that Shane was afraid if he moved, he'd wake the other man up. He decided not to move. His arm was draped over Ryan's shoulders, and his curly mop of black hair lay just inches away from Shane's fingers. As gently as he possibly could, he played with Ryan' soft, dark coils, twisting his fingers in them. He closed his eyes and pulled Ryan closer. He really was irresistible. Shane detected no movement from Ryan aside from the soft fluttering of his eyelashes, so he figured he was safe to do something he'd been wanting to do for a while. He pressed a soft, gentle kiss to the top of Ryan's head, burying his face in the messy black hair there.

Ryan couldn't help the small smile that spread across his face. He was very much awake.


	3. How did it end up like this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan finds out one of shane's well-hidden secrets....

The days were starting to blend together. They almost had a schedule, waking up together, occasionally tangled in each other's arms. Ryan, graciously, or perhaps obliviously, didn't mention the blush that always appeared on Shane's cheeks when the latter occurred. They drank coffee together while watching a show, Shane made breakfast, and then they watched more TV while they ate. Recently, the two had gotten into Sherlock, and each episode Shane would scoff at Ryan's crazy theories that always ended up being the furthest from what happened. Shane was beginning to suspect that he was guessing the most outlandish shit just to make him laugh. He begrudgingly realized it was working.

They then went out for a walk, masks over their faces, avoiding all human contact except for when their shoulders and hands brushed against one another. This happened often, and neither of them did anything about it. They didn't mention it either. The weather was perfect, often sunny but never overly warm, and sometimes they could see their breath in the cold air. Ryan occasionally bundled up in Shane's giant coats, and Shane's brain almost stopped functioning every time. Shane didn't think he was that obvious, but the shorter man had noticed. He figured Shane was holding in laughter, so he glared at him with a small smile. However, that look that Ryan gave him made Shane even more flustered and red in the face. Whatever, they were getting exercise.

After this,the days were much less structured. They went off to do their own things sometimes, sometimes they sat and watched more TV, sometimes Shane would bust out these ancient coloring books for kids, it depended. They also had a ton of meetings for work, which they did over Zoom. They decided that the best place to do these was at Shane's small desk. Ryan sat in a chair from Shane's small kitchen table and Shane sat in his swivel chair. They sat, knees touching, shoulders mere inches apart. Ryan liked to push the swivel chair slowly further out of the frame until Shane noticed. The farthest he ever got was when Shane got distracted by what he was saying and got pushed so he was half out of the frame. Then, Katie spoke up and Shane smacked Ryan on the arm, though they both had playful smiles on their faces.

They filmed an episode of Watcher Weekly and had to explain the weird scenario, sitting uncomfortably next to each other at the desk that was, admittedly, too small. At one point, Ryan trailed off while talking about their worries about the coronavirus. He then felt Shane's warm hand on his knee, giving it a light squeeze. Ryan's spine straightened and his face flushed. Shit. Maybe no one had noticed? Maybe the camera hadn't picked it up? No one seemed to notice in the moment, so Ryan looked to the man next to him who wore a kind smile on his scruffy face. Ryan smiled weakly back, still hyper-aware of the big hand on his knee. Then, it fell, and he almost missed it. When the episode aired, he discovered a couple of users had noticed his odd reaction and commented about it. He flushed red and groaned from where he sat, scrolling through the comments on the floor of the bathroom that night. 

They got a very interesting question that week on Watcher Weekly. Neither Ryan nor Shane had noticed it, but Steven had picked it out for the episode. 

Steven had a wicked grin on his face as he read the question. " 'The Watcher acc liked one of my comments and then disliked it? Who? Why? It was one about Shane and Ryan acting like an old married couple.' Interesting. I don't remember doing that... Shane, Ryan?"

Ryan wore a surprised, puzzled look on his face while Shane looked completely and utterly flabbergasted. He was barely even trying to hide his flustered demeanor. Finally, Ryan spoke up.

"Not me. Shane?" Ryan turned to the big guy, who had his mouth open though no words came out.

"I, ah, um, might've accidentally liked a comment. I was just scrolling, ya know, and my finger slipped, I guess. Oops!" He slapped a goofy grin on his face and shrugged dramatically. They moved on to the next question, and Shane was endlessly thankful. How mortifying. The rest of the episode went smoothly, though Ryan kept thinking about the comment. An old married couple, huh? Weird.

That night, Ryan was about to take a shower when he realized Shane's shampoo was pretty much out. He furrowed his brow. Shane was editing old footage in his room, so he decided to look for more himself. He rifled through the cabinets under Shane's sink, trying his best to be quiet. 

Ryan found a couple of unused bath bombs that looked at least two years old and a stick of deodorant. There were some toilet paper rolls and cleaning products, the normal stuff. Then, he found the shampoo and dug it out with a triumphant cry. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something bright and sparkly. He dug out a bag behind the shampoo. 

The bag was made of a purple, glittery fabric that left sparkling residue on his fingers. The mischevous grin on his face widened as he unzipped it. Inside he found a rainbow eyeshadow palette, an eyeshadow palette that consisted of only glitter, mascara, black eyeliner, and a few bottles of nail polish. A look of delighted surprise took over his face and he forgot entirely about the shower, rushing to Shane's room.

-

Shane was hunched over his computer, working absentmindedly and lazily on editing a video for Watcher. He shut the computer with a sigh. He wouldn't get much work done now, when he was distracted by overwhelming thoughts about his best friend, and it didn't need editing immediately anyways. He turned as he heard feet shuffling towards his room. He had thought Ryan was going to take a shower?

Ryan stood in the doorway in Shane's pajamas, holding a very familiar glittery purple bag. Shane paled and started to stammer. Ryan had a smile plastered on his face, but Shane could detect malice behind it.

"I-I can explain," he said, his voice shaky and pleading. Ryan's face fell immediately, puzzled expression confusing Shane too.

"What do you mean?" He said softly.

"I- that's not mine, of course-" Shane started, but Ryan interrupted him with a laugh, waving his hand.

"Oh!" He laughed again and Shane couldn't express how scared he was in that moment. "You don't have to lie to me, man, I don't give a fuck. I did have a question, tough..."

Shane breathed a sigh of relief. So Ryan wasn't homophobic. Well, he'd never given any indication that he would be or that he was super into gender roles. In fact, he seemed super accepting, but Shane had learned you never know. However, he knew what was coming next. "Yeah?" He asked.

"You wanna paint each other's nails?"

He had not known what was coming next, apparently. A small smile spread across Shane's face and he nodded silently, swiftly.

"So, I was thinkin' blue for me. I don't know, it's just a really nice color, and this one shines sort of purple." Ryan said, twisting the nail polish for Shane to see. It did sort of have an iridescent quality to it, and Shane knew it'd look good on him. They sat, legs crossed, on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, nail polish spread out between them.

Shane picked up a bright red and compared it to the dark green he'd been considering. He gasped, surprised to find the green had glitter in it. Sure, he'd bought it, but that had been years ago. He hadn't seen most of this stuff in like six months. He set the small glass bottle in front of Ryan. "This one for me. It's like... a sparkly Christmas tree or something." He grinned and Ryan laughed.

"Very nice." Ryan said, his grin as crazed and wide as it usually was. Wow, Shane loved that grin. He was taken unawares, eyes fixed on Ryan's face, when the dark-haired man grabbed his hand. 

Ryan painted Shane's nails. He was pretty bad at it, the green polish decorating almost the entirety of Shane's fingertips. The giant, enamored man couldn't have cared less. His giant hand was held gently in Ryan's small tan one. It was curiously intimate, Ryan having to hold and turn and manipulate each of Shane's long, knobby fingers to paint them properly. His fingers were warm, and a bit sweaty, as usual. It was okay, Shane's hands were clammy from nerves, so they matched. Ryan let go, all of the nails painted, and Shane held his hands up and wiggled his fingers around. The dark green sparkled in the yellow bathroom light.

Ryan groaned and put his head in his hands. "Oh God, Shane. They're terrible!"

"Oh, shut up. I love them." He waved his hands around, doing jazz hands and various other weird dance moves in an effort to dry his nails and make Ryan laugh. He succeeded,Ryan letting out a high-pitched cackle.

"You're ridiculous, Shane. I love it." Shane looked up at Ryan to see a compassionate, almost... yearn-y look on the little man's face. Shane squinted and the other man's face dissolved into a goofy, awkward smile. Shane returned it with one of his own. Funny. It had almost sounded like Ryan was going to say I love you.

Shane waved his hands around more and then tested the polish with his finger. Ryan protested loudly, but he poked at it anyways and shouted, "Hurrah! Sort of dry." Ryan groaned and glared at Shane, who just smirked. Then, the tall man started on Ryan's nails.

He'd gotten all of the stuff in the glittery purple bag separately. Some of it was stuff he stole from old boyfriends and girlfriends. Some of it he had bought, although fearfully. Sometimes, at night or when he was bored, he played around with the makeup. He started out slathering it on his face and it turning out unmatching and messy. The nail polish was the same, he'd started at Ryan's skill level. He improved over time but now... he hadn't touched the stuff in almost six months. It wasn't fear or aversion, exactly, he just hadn't had a lot of time. Also, Ryan had started coming over a lot. He couldn't have anyone finding him out. No one at work knew he wore makeup or that he was pan. And he could tell them, or he could keep himself hidden and safe. He preferred the second option. It felt less like lying and more like leaving out details, changing pronouns, things like that. Maybe he'd tell them another day. Maybe he'd tell Ryan. One day.

Ryan was surprised at how good Shane was. His big, long fingers looked like they would be clumsy, but they were gentle and precise. It was pretty impressive. He really liked the blue: It was bright, bold, and had a slight shine to it. Shane's color looked good too. It matched him somehow. Dark, soft, foresty, but filled with a bright sparkle. And man, were his brown eyes sparkling in the dim light of the bathroom. Shane looked up at him. Ryan had been staring, and he continued, their eyes locked. Shane opened his mouth, but decided against it, ducking his head back down to Ryan's hand. Ryan looked down at their hands. The tall man's hand dwarfed his. It was warm and soft, and he felt bad that his hand was sweaty as fuck for no reason. What the hell? Shane finished and pulled back silently.

"Thanks," Ryan said, and did jazz hands, which made Shane smile.

"Very pretty." Shane commented. It didn't seem like he was teasing, a bashful look on his face.

"I know I am." Ryan grinned wolfishly at him. Shane laughed. 

-

Shane sat in bed next to Ryan. They'd let their nails dry, Ryan took a shower, and they watched a movie together. Shane couldn't stop thinking about his best friend: The way they'd held hands while painting each other's nails, the way Ryan had looked at him with some weird emotions Shane couldn't place on his face, the way Ryan had snuggled into his side and let Shane put his arm on his shoulder, the way the small man's hand felt on his knee. Also, the way Ryan's hand felt right now, lying softly on his waist, so light a touch it almost tickled. He could feel Ryan behind him, breathing on his neck. His sleeping form was almost pressed against Shane's back. His mind traveled to all of the times they woke up in each other's arms, warm and tangled and happy. He remembered the kiss he'd pressed into Ryan's dark curls. 

Shane buried his face in his hands and muttered under his breath, "Fuck."

That wasn't normal friend behavior. That wasn't even best friend territory. The holding hands, the unnecessary touching, the snuggling and cuddling, and to top it all off, the kiss, were all sickeningly romantic. What was even worse was he wanted to do all of it more. He let it sink into his brain and took a deep breath.

It was undoubtedly, irrefutably true, Shane Alexander Madej had a crush on his best friend.


End file.
